Soft Launch: Introducing the Kanakistan Verlag-i-tron!

CFP: The Kanakistan Verlag-i-tron

KANAKISTAN, March 18, 2008:

ATTENTION ACADEMICS. A select and highly-trained group of Kanak information engineers have recently unveiled the Kanakistan Verlag-i-tron, a program which automatically generates academic research topics of interest to Kanakistan’s public policy initiatives. Under the auspices of the Kanakistan Bibliotheks Researchstipendium program (KBR), academics worldwide are invited to submit previously unpublished work on the following topics:

-- Racism and Migration in the New Europe: It’s the Same Old Europe

-- Imam Deported for “Germans are Stinky” Commentary: State Persecution of Islamic Olfactory Perception

-- Oral Narratives of Capitalism & Labor Migration: My Father was a Guestworker and all I got was this Stupid T-Shirt

-- Kim Kimi Sikiyor?: Islamic Masculinity in the New Europe

-- “Egal, Du stinkst von tr-ink-en”: Germany’s Inner-Empire Raps Back

-- Schwartzfahren: BVG as Melting Pot

Submit academic CV or resume, chosen research area, and funding requirements online to Cedric W. Burgher, SVP & CFO of KBR at: http://kbrcareers.webrecruiter.com/pls/kbr/maine.d?s=42AF738B14F92BA2E0440003BA74E87F

And check back to this site -- Kanakademiker plans to put the Verlag-i-Tron to good use, generating ideas on a regular basis. Check back HERE every week, every YEAR, to further your caREER. Grateful subscribers, send BEER.

COLUMBUS, OHIO, March 18 (Hurry up News Of The World) -- The American flag waves gently over a State Capitol that has seen -- and survived -- harder times than these. In fact, these are happy times, reports Governor Ted Strickland. "All across the United States, the European Union -- indeed, The West -- G8 nations and allies are in a hard-fought race to entice immigrants to our shores. Or, if we have no shores -- like the fine state of Ohio, and also Luxembourg -- to our streets and pavement and homes and factories and cafes, etc. We'd like to announce, with the arrival of Metin Hamsioglu -- I'm sorry, I believe I mispronounced that -- we here in Columbus are welcoming our 415,000th immigrant. And we couldn't be happier."

Metin Hamsioglu, a native of Trabzon by way of Kreuzberg, Berlin, reports he is very happy to be in Columbus, and was suprised at reports that there are two Turkish restaurant in Columbus city limits: Cafe Shish Kebab and Cafe Istanbul. "There used to be three," local news anchor Andrea Cambern reports, "But the third one closed down when the chef got deported. Good times."

Hamsioglu -- the son of Gamzeh and Ahmed Hamsioglu of the Black Sea region of northern Turkey -- also reported that he is looking forward to joining the Electrical Egineering program at Ohio Satte University, which has accepted him for Spring enrollment. He also reported that already the people of Columbus were much friendlier than the Krauts he had to live with in Berlin. He is not quoted here directly, as his English is not yet up to snuff, but he reports he's working on that.

"Is Luxembourg a country?" Governor Strickland asked an aide nearby, closing the State House ceremony. "Is it landlocked?"

There are no doctors but the doctors in Germany

Well, it was difficult trying to decide what to post on the very first Inlanderextremismus entry!

Should it be the police dogs with shoes? The government's guide to becoming German? Gay penguins? The three-page letter threatening to deport my cat? Great topics all, and eventually they will be shared (watchout, Tieramt!).

But something came up very recently and it was too good to be true.

Prosecutors are actually targeting American academics who have been recruited into top positions at institutes (e.g. Max Planck). Turns out, those silly Ph.D.'s don't have doctorates after all! Not, at least, according to a Nazi-era law that only recogizes European doctorates. (Although the Nazis didn't recognize those silly Jewish Europeans' Ph.D.s, either. Oops!)

To read more silly details, just google Non-European PhDs, or follow the yellow brick road.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/03/13/AR2008031304353.html

Do we see a recurring theme here? Silly, silly, silly.

Herzlich Wilkommen

Herlixh wilkoemmen, du -- warum hast du so longe gewartet meine neue blog univers zu finden?Naja, jetzt bist du hier. Mehr kommt gleich.

Warum wartest du?

Hau ab. Raus!


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